Time to get all sappy

March 10, 2008 - Monday

So, here we are. Two years ago today, I was holding a brand new snuggly bundle in my arms. Now, this bundle has quadrupled in size, and has grown from a floppy little thing into a real live boy. I will never forget the night he was born and when I first looked in his eyes. I just knew that he was the absolute perfect addition to our little family. Isn't he just the sweetest little thing ever:

Now, he is such a little clown. I catch him walking around the house making funny faces and cracking himself up just about daily. I am amazed at how quickly time passes, and I try to savor each moment until he is embarrased to be seen in public with me. Here is my big boy with some of his new birthday loot:
This was first thing in the morning, when he got his first bike. Notice Emily in the background...yes, I guess I do allow my children to ride their bikes in the house.

He really did love it...even though he looks a bit stunned in the picture.

Another favorite gift:
He is not really a demon, I just can't seem to get the red eye reducer to work on his baby blues.
Getting ready to eat cake:


And, one of the big sister enjoying the party:
I know, I know...again with the red eyes...apparently, I can only get rid of it on right eyes...the left eyes just stay demonish.
Anyway, that's enough sap from me for one day.

My lifetime original movie

March 3, 2008 - Monday

Have you ever accidentally tuned in to a Lifetime Original Movie and gotten so sucked into the pitful drama that you can't seem to force yourself to change the channel? Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about. The main character and victim is usually played by Melissa Gilbert, and she is most likely being lied to or cheated on...or someone stole her baby. Without Pa there to protect her, all-grown-up Laura Ingalls has the worst luck ever. Seriously, half pint can't get a freaking break.

Today, my dear friend Megan and I were discussing some such movie, and contemplating what our own lives would look like if broadcast on the victim channel. How would our most suspenseful moments play out in a made for TV movie? Would it be as thrilling and addictive as the others, or are we just not martyr material enough to make our movie worth watching?
Sadly enough, the most dramatic moment of my day is when I literally sprint from the car to my home while perpetually running late from one job to the next. I know that Dr. Phil views consistent tardiness as extremely selfish behavior, but whatever...Phil has no idea what I am up against here. It is inevitable. I feel I must elaborate on this so you understand just how tight my schedule is. During this final sprint of the day, I wouldn't dare stop at the mailbox to get the mail...this would take like 10 extra seconds that I could not possibly spare. My poor children are lucky enough to get a greeting and a half assed hug as I dash to my computer to make up for lost time.

Anyway, as I confessed to Megan, the front door being locked is quite often my biggest obstacle. I must sadly admit that I have actually cursed the door for being locked. Out loud. I may even have let the f-er fly after this horrifying discovery.

So, picture this...the most dramatic moment of my day as I, played by Kellie Martin, sprint the 15 feet from my car (most likely a sensible sedan or quite possibly even a minivan) to my front door. Soundrack music is crescendoing in the background as my victim-channel movie comes to a climax so suspenseful that even the Lifetime people would not dare interrupt with a commercial. Kellie is determined to reach her destination. At this point, the heel of her shoe breaks and she probably falls over and scrapes her knee, ripping her pantyhose in the process. But that Kellie is a victim no more! She perserveres. She will crawl, hop, whatever it takes to get to that door and get to her commitment on time.

Tears begin streaming down her face as she realizes that she had just ruined her favorite pair of shoes that she bought in New York City with Tiffany Amber Theissen. With a new wave of determination, she charges once again towards the door. The new Kellie won't let even this crappy realization get her down. There is still time. She has 4 seconds to spare. Then, just as she reaches the door, the stinging reality of the situation overcomes her. The damned door is locked. And if you thought the music was crescendoing before, you were sadly mistaken my friend, because this is the true crossroads...the apex of the story, the defining moment that makes or breaks Kellie. "Why!? Why?!" Kellie screams, to no one in particular. The neighbors glance over at her but continue carrying in their groceries as if this is a daily occurance. Now, cue the commercial...the camera panning out as Kellie lies in a huddled pathetic mass, fumbling with her keys on my front stoop.

What will happen to Kellie? Will she overcome the trauma, and find that a new pair of shoes is just a train ride away? Will she make millions as the inventor of a voice activated door lock? Was this whole experience a blessing in disguise...her obstacles really a gift that shaped her true character and pointed her in the direction of her true destiny? There has to be a lesson in here somewhere, people...she didn't go through all of this for nothing!

What lesson did the real non-victim Natalie learn? To count to at least 5 when I hug my kids after I walk in the door. After all, when I am gone, even if it is only for 3 hours, that is three hours of their Lifetime that I missed. Fortunately, my dear girl is quite the storyteller, and their channel plays reruns of daytime programming all evening long. I vow to listen intently as they replay any crescendoes I may have missed. And tomorrow, when I sprint to my front door, I am going to laugh my ass off, picturing Becca Thatcher, a sobbing mess, huddled next to my flowerbeds.

An undersea adventure...almost (3/2/08)

March 2, 2008 - Sunday

Today, we packed up the kiddos and went to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ. Living close to major cities definitely has benefits, I tell ya. This was a quick 25 minute ride into a whole new world of sharks, fishies, and frogs. The kids had a blast. My third child, Andy, loved it too. He spent the entire ride home discussing how amazing it would be to breathe underwater. "What would be cooler, flying or breathing underwater?" he pondered aloud. "Which would you prefer?" he asked, reminding me that as this gift was bestowed upon me, the word "Behold!" would be thundered by the gift giver. He has really thought this moment through, I guess. Dialogue and all.

This got me to thinking. I have no interest in either of these "gifts". Really, I think combining my impatience and ungraceful nature with either of these things would be a certified recipe for disaster. I am perfectly happy here on land, just me and my two feet. Is that weird? Is this a symptom of my contentness or a demonstration of complete lack of adventurous spirit? I wonder. What do you think?

Anyway, at the Adventure Aquarium,
They let you pet the sharks and starfish:

We got to hang out in a rainforest:

They had these awesome glow in the dark jellyfish:
Got up close and personal with some big fish:
Emily the Angelfish:
Ethan the Octopus:
Me and the kiddos:

Our attempt at a do-it-yourself family photo in front of the beautiful Philadelphia skyline:

As you can see, it really was a great day. If you have not had the pleasure of visiting an aquarium, I highly suggest you do so. It really is amazing to see all of the wonders from the beneath the deep blue sea. Even for the boring, non-adventurous type like me.

Leaping Through Time

This Friday, we encounter the anomaly that is the Leap Year. Why the extra Friday this month, you ask? Well, truth be told, the addition of an extra day every couple of years is to keep our calendar in synch with the earth's revolutions around the sun....crazy, huh!
I don't know what is crazier, the fact that someone thought ahead enough to figure this out, or that this has been going on since 46BC. That's right folks, 46BC! The man who enacted this rule was Julius Caesar, of all people. I guess he needed something to do between salads. (He actually stole this idea from the Hebrew's, but I digress.) His math was a little off, though, because his calendar had too many extra days. The result was probably something along the lines of snow in August; they were all f-ed up. So, they ditched this controversial character's calendar and adopted a new one made by Pope Gregory in the 1700s. The idea of the leap year remained, so let's celebrate this special day that occurs each year that is divisible by 4 by leaping back through time.
Leaping back to my fun filled high school days:

Notice anything? Like maybe that I have the SAME haircut as I did 10 years ago?
A funny story to go with this picture. I can remember when I ventured into the city of Allentown to pick up my package of pictures at the photographer on Hamilton Blvd. I had *just* gotten my license, and this was pretty much my first solo venture outside of Schnecksville. To make this event more enjoyable, I picked up Lori and her (not- so- little- anymore) brother, Michael. He may have been going by the name Fluffy The Cat this particular year, but this is irrelevant.
Anyway, you know how sometimes in cities, the people in charge of road signs decide to glue them to the sides of buildings instead of putting them on poles like they do everywhere else? Well, I unknowingly encountered one of these camouflaged stop signs and attempted to stop only after Lori screamed, well, "STOP!". I slammed on the breaks of the Jeep Cherokee just as I was right smack in the middle of the intersection. With a quick, panicked glance to my right and left, I was fortunate to find that nobody was heading towards me about to crash.
I was, however, UNfortunate to find two policemen perched atop their bikes, staring straight at me. I made eye contact with one of them, but decided it was still OK to keep going. They did not agree. Picture me, obviously lacking some basic driving skills, cruising down the one-way, all -parked- up, traffic-jam madness that is Hamiton Blvd, with two policemen on bikes chasing behind me.
Needless to day, I did not get very far, as I soon found out that similar stop signs are pasted on just about every other building on this street. So, they yelled and pointed at me to pull over. I obliged, and then gave them some expired insurance papers. Then I cried and mumbled something to the effect of "why was the sign glued to the building?". They yelled even louder because there was a crosswalk at the particular intersection where I chose to disregard the traffic signal. I cried some more and mentioned "accidental vehicular homicide" between sobs. I told them I was so sorry and I would never do it again. Lori sat there calm and collected, searching in the glove compartment for papers that hadn't expired 3 years ago. Fluffy sat in the back seat meowing and grooming himself.

The policemen on bikes took pity on me, and let me go with just a warning and a directive to remind my parents to put the updated insurance papers in the car. I promised I would, knowing full well that Tom and Sandy would never hear a single word of this event. At least not for another 10 years, anyway. I guess this time has come, so in celebration of Leap Year, I will give my parents a chuckle tonight when I call them to confess to this comical event. I urge you to do the same in honor of this extra day we've been gifted by an unscrupulous tyrant. Put that hippocampus to work and dig up a memory that has been buried and is growing cobwebs in the far corners of your brain. Dust it off and share it with a friend. Thanks, Jules, for brightening our February with a bonus day, giving us a reason to re-live a memory, and giving us an extra chance to make a new one. Now, I am off to call my parents.

Yelling at Parked Cars

We went to "Elmo's B is for Books Birthday Bash" at Barnes and Noble last weekend. The term "bash" may have been pushing it a bit, but it was fun. They read a bunch of Elmo books and then the kids got to hug their favorite snuggly monster. Here are some pics:

Notice the caution tape in the background? Let's just say my boy is not intimidated one bit by flimsy plastic barriers. He escaped at least 3 times during the book reading part, and found the giant picture windows overlooking the parking lot far more interesting than the stories. Lucky for him, there was another little guy just about his age who seemed to share his passion for yelling at parked cars, so he was in good company. It was definitely a nice way to spend a weekend afternoon, so I definitely recommend going if there is one near you.

Self sufficiency

One of the perks of being a parent is the ability (responsibility even) to mold your small troll into your own little creation, instilling in them all of the values that will put them on the path to success in life. While this daunting task can be overwhelming, as it can be met with great resistance if not properly disguised, it also carries with it the possibility for great pride. Pride in that you are doing the best for your little monster, ensuring that your offspring do not end up living in a van by the river, contributing to all that ills society.

One of the values that is of the utmost importance is independence and self-sufficiency. Being a college instructor, I have first hand data on the dangers of raising your child to rely on others for their needs. It is almost a sense of apathy...a helplessness that is far too annoying for me to bear. The deer-in-headlights look is NOT attractive, and nobody got very far in life waiting for someone else hold their hand and help them overcome life's inevitable challenges. So, I decided that my kiddos can be the pioneers of their generation, but only if they learn to help themselves.

My dear Emily has taken to these lessons fairly well, although I would by lying if I said she did not go through momentary bouts of "Princess syndrome", which is the most dangerous of all ailments that can affect our young girls. Furthermore, this syndrome has no vaccine, and once it strikes for a prolonged period with no intervention, it may just become permanent, plagueing the afflicted for the rest of their pitiful lives. I will save this rant for another entry, but one of the symptoms of this dangerous disorder is that you treat all of those surrounding you as servants, ordering them around and threatening tantrums (or worse yet, whining) if they do not comply with your demands. In an effort to avoid this disorder, it has been my goal to steer my dear girl towards self-sufficiency.

Her latest accomplishment on this front is learning to cook. Now, she has always been helpful in the kitchen: measuring ingredients, stirring, licking spoons, but today we took this to another level. Check out my little Rachael Ray making eggs all by herself:

And then enjoying the spoils of this effort, in sandwich form, on a bagel she also toasted herself:

Now, while this is a success story, I must caution you: this self-sufficiency does have some drawbacks, as illustrated by my next story.

I was playing with the kiddos in the living room, when Ethan wandered off into the kitchen. Such occurances are not rare, but when he refused to answer me after calling to him a number of times, off I went to investigate. This is what I find:

At just about this point, I hear Emily's hysterical laughter from the living room. Why all the laughter?

Now that is a kid with fearless independence. Look how proud he is of his accomplishment. He plowed through all the obstacles in his path: the difficult to open produce drawer, the saran wrap, the sticky juice spilling on the floor. All of these obstacles may have deterred a child. One may have thought, "You know...this is just too much trouble. I will just stand here and wait until somebody helps me." Not my boy, he knows what he wants, and is not afraid to go for it.
Now, filled with pride, I am off to purchase a steam cleaner.

Coming up for air...

Oh my, have I been a busy lady. After the blissful holiday break, with no running Em back and forth to school, and no work due to the semester break, I jumped head first into my new job. Let me tell ya, this is going to take a lot of adjusting. My little man has been super cooperative while I have endured online/ conference call trainings (thanks to the mute button on my phone, I am able to carry on full on conversations and play with him while I half-listen to the dronings on the other end of the phone). Isn't it funny how mom's have the innate ability to multitask.

I pretty much have our new schedule down pat. In the morning, I get up, showered, and log on before the kiddos awake. I enjoy breakfast and a couple books with them, get them dressed, and then I have an online meeting for about an hour and a half. During this time, the kiddos color, or do something else constructive with me at the table. I am surprised how easy it is to keep them happily occupied when they have scheduled activities. After that, I play with them for a half hour and take my lunch break while I drop Em off at school, eat with Ethan, and put him down for a nap.

During nap time, I (so far) have managed to get a lot of my work done, which is fantastic. After he gets up, we have a snack and then off to pick up Emily again. I just hope I am able to finish the extra trainings quickly and this schedule works out for the long run. So, keep your fingers crossed for me as I continue on this new adventure!